Divorced and Starting Over

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[00:00:28] Leave nothing to the imagination. Divorced and Starting Over. And Starting Over. Both of us can relate. I'm two and a half, three years divorced. And you are... Not there yet. Going through. Right. Currently separated. Right. Yeah. And about to. And about to be divorced. Yeah. So not by my choice. Right. Yeah. It's a difficult situation. It is. It is.

[00:00:57] You know, I've heard, and this is a good icebreaker. Mm-hmm. I've heard that death, I mean, that marriage, a divorce is like a death. I can see that. Mm-hmm. It's like a death. When you share a toilet seat with somebody for over 20 some years. Right. There's no, like, magical word that's going to wish that away. But you can move forward. In time. In time. Yeah.

[00:01:27] And you have to. And find yourself again. And you have to roll with your, you know, you have to roll with the punches that life give you, man. Yeah. So. I ask myself a lot, you know, when I was going through, like, you know, who am I? Because a lot of what I had done was in the context of the relationship. Of the significant other. You know, like, my decisions weren't necessarily my decisions. But they were. Yeah. Based on somebody else's too. Yeah. And so you had to think about, you know, well, do I really like this?

[00:01:56] Or what is it about it? Is this the life for me? Right. So, look. You question a lot of things. Of course. Never question before. Of course. Of course. So, here's a good statistic for you, for me, life-wise. So, I'm 57. So, 34 years of those 57 years I was married. Wow. Wow. Yep. Better part of your life.

[00:02:25] More than half of my life. Better part of your life. Right. I graduated at 17, 18, you know, around that time. Okay. First time I got married, I was 21, 22. So, I had four years of being single. Three or four years. Wow. And after that marriage didn't work because. That's why your body count was low. Boom. That's why your body count was low. There you go. That makes sense. From the last episode when I asked you.

[00:02:55] That's why the body count wasn't like that. Yeah. Because I was raised like that though. Brought up in old fashioned. Right. Get married. Get married. Even if you married the wrong person. Which we talked about before. How many people married the wrong person because they thought they were supposed to get married. Because either they had sex. For whatever reason. Either they had sex. Or somebody had sex and got pregnant. Or the old people was like, you know y'all can't be doing that. You need to get married.

[00:03:25] And people get married. What they see on TV. Traditionally. Somebody sees something on TV. Oh we got to be like this. You know what we see on TV. So rather than to be in a business agreement. Because that's what that is. If you. It comes down to a business agreement. Right. To some marriages. Most marriages are business agreements. And it could turn into a. Like a part. More of a partnership. A partnership rather than. Than an actual. You know that intimacy. Holy matrimony. No intimacy. No intimacy. Fact.

[00:03:54] But you just kind of more or less. Roommates. You know what. Roommates with a purpose. You want to. You know every man. Every person wants that person that. They are just. Over the heels. In love with. You know what I'm saying. You can't wait to get home. That. That exists. It exists. And I think too. You want that. But you just. You also want peace. With that person. With that.

[00:04:24] And we don't have that. It's the peace that you have by yourself. Oh. That's what you want. You have. But. But in a good way. You want to be able to share it. Yeah. Expand. Right. But if you can't have that same type of level of peace. Not. Not. Let me say this. And. It's a long organic opening. In order to have that peace. Both parties will have to sacrifice some. Yes. Absolutely. There's no doubt about it. No doubt about it. There's no shortcut in that. Listeners. Hear me well.

[00:04:54] That's what marriage is. That's what marriage is. Marriage is two people working together as a team. Not pulling against each other. Marriage is not jealousy. It's not competition. None of that. A lot of things that destroy marriages in mine. But. And mine stem from being immature. You know just. Are you saying yourself? Yes. Okay.

[00:05:22] Just living the same type of immature lifestyle that you know that you were accustomed to before you were married. Right. That doesn't work in a marriage. So basically you're saying after you got married you still act like you were single. In some ways. Okay. In some ways. And see I was the opposite right. I'm loyal. Like. Because I. I was taught that. I was taught compassion. Loyalty. You know. Patient. All of that. Sure. You know. Stay. Sure. Sure. You know. My mom stayed. Sure. You know.

[00:05:53] And now she says to us to this day. I stayed until y'all got out of high school. You know. You know the whole. The whole typical kids out of school. Emptiness. Now hey. I got you. Rawr. Get the hell on. I never was in love. You know what I'm saying. Man. So my mom basically was like. I stayed for y'all. Well. You can't do that mama. Right. Well. You know. And your mom is what. How old is your mom? 80.

[00:06:22] My mom is 79. She's from her generation. Yeah. I mean. They thought. And their thoughts. If you're in your 50s. Cultures were different. The 50s baby. Like if we're in our 50s. We kind of got caught between. High school marriage. Well you better have something else. That's. We got caught between the old and the new. Right. Generation. I agree. The 50s. Yeah. 50 club. If you're in your 50s now. Are you like 45. Between 45 and 60. We kind of got caught.

[00:06:52] In the middle. Like. From old. Old cloth to like. Right. The transition. Now it's like. Whatever goes. Yeah. And it's good and bad. Because we can adapt now. Because. You know. But at the same time. We. Some of the old ways. We can't. Yeah. Go. Yeah. I still remember them. You know.

[00:07:27] We found you. We found you. Everything. Our podcast. With a purpose. We got the honor. The coach. That's the show. This is your boy. Coach Boston. Oh my. 1976. 1976. This is the uncomfortable. Yodaman. Since 1968. So this is different. Listen y'all. I put a post on Facebook. When I shared.

[00:07:56] I shared one of the clips. And it was the one with the man. With the shirt on. And the tie made out of a snake. Yeah. The soul tie. That's what I made. The soul tie. Right. So. I shared that. Right. Right. But I captioned it. Not even realizing something. I captioned it. I said. We are for real on our show. That's what I put. Okay. That's the captioning. And people. You know. Whatever. Yeah. Chimed in. Liked it. Liked it. Whatever. Sure. Well. I didn't know. The name of the next show. Okay.

[00:08:26] It's. It. It. It. It bespeaks. My posts. Like. We real. Yeah. We keep. You know. Obviously. We. We talk about. The generational curses. The last couple of weeks. Right. And we're going to have a guest on. To continue. Like. A new segment. Of people calling in. Talking about. Their personal experiences. But it's. It's difficult. Finding. You know. Things to talk about. Without being real.

[00:08:55] Is that's all we got now. You know. The covers are off. Yeah. In the world. So now. You can't go back to the soap opera day. No. No. Done with the pecking now. No. It's French kissing. No. They're using tongue. Do we? You don't. Don't do that. Do we? Get out of here. Do we? So. Let's pray. Let's pray. Yeah. We need to pray. Lord. Thank you for the grace to begin again. Help me release the weight of yesterday. And the mistakes of the past. Give me the clarity to see this fresh start.

[00:09:24] Not as a new foundation for a stronger future. Grant me the courage to step into this next chapter with purpose. The wisdom to navigate the unknown. And the peace of knowing my steps are guided. Amen. Amen brother. Let's love. So you know what? I want to say this. Yeah. I'm going to plug this right quick. Sure. This is a warning. Anytime. No matter what platform it is.

[00:09:52] Anytime you start talking about or promoting or bringing awareness to something that's going to better people. Mm-hmm. The devil always show up. I got you. He always sends some type. He always attempts to disrupt it. You think it's coming to us? Of course. Okay. Of course. Don't you feel how quick your temper is? Like you've been short during the week? Mm-hmm. You think it's coming at us? Of course. Okay.

[00:10:22] He doesn't like that. Success. Yes. Well, no. He doesn't like. And we're promoting God. He doesn't like that we're perfect. Yeah. Not only are we. Well, the biggest thing we're promoting God. Right. The next thing is that we're taking that and making it out of a principle in life and telling it to people to make them better people. Make them better people. That's the last thing he wants. Right. Okay. So what is he going to do? Disrupt.

[00:10:46] If it wasn't for that Penske on and off the field, that damn Lance and that damn Rick, they're going to. Yeah. They're going to come at us. I'm telling you. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. Okay. That's it. Mark. I said it. At the 10-minute mark in the show. Message heard, brother. I got my head on the swivel. So be careful because he's going to come to try to disrupt anything he could try to. Hey, they messing with my stuff.

[00:11:16] So I got to bust them up. Hey, we'll be ready. We're going to keep on moving. So that prayer, it was for real. Like we need that. So let's laugh. Class clown segment. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. Okay. She thought she was God and I didn't. I saw that joke you put on Facebook where it says,

[00:11:44] why did God create Eve second? Did you put that up there? Uh-uh. Why didn't he create the woman first? No. Because he didn't need no help creating the world. Oh, right. Because if he'd have made her first, you know God. God, you might want to. God, you might want to. That's the truth. That's perfect. I'm hungry, God.

[00:12:13] She would have complained about everything. She would have complained about her health, the color. It's kind of hot, God. You know? Why the fruit like this? Why ain't you got this big? Why is it like that? Imagine that, bro. What kind of garden is this? This is completely unmerced. All right. Go ahead.

[00:12:42] Why did the cat get divorced? Why? He was a cheetah. That was good. Okay. Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the marijuana. Okay. So the judges have started issuing joint custody. That's good. That's good. What did Luke Skywalker say to Princess Leia after she separated from Han Solo? Okay. May the divorce be with you. May the divorce. Wow. That's good.

[00:13:10] Why did the divorced man cross the road? Why? He had a restraining order. This is crazy. The pimp read the definition of the word alimony and said, wait, you mean you keep paying after the relationship is over?

[00:13:34] That pimp was confused. All right. Divorce comes from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Robert Williams said that. He was funny. Hilarious, dude. Hilarious. Two white bears got married. Oh my goodness.

[00:14:02] But soon they ended up unhappy and got divorced. It was as if they were polar opposites. A dentist and a manicurist decided to get divorced. Oh, wow. Yeah. They fought tooth and nail. 80% of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. That's facts. That's a bad. You know what, though? Let me say. That's a bad. Do we get in a bad rap, dude? Well, you don't cheat by yourself.

[00:14:32] Well, I can't guess. Well, no. That's facts. You don't cheat by yourself. But they cheat with that bear meat sometimes. If 80%, I don't know if that statistic is true. 80%? Or that's just a joke. I think that's part of it. Let's just say 60% of men cheat. Well, what do you think the percentage of men that cheat? Well, I'm going to just say 70. I'm going to just say 60. I'm going to say 60. Over 50 or under 50? I think it's over 50. I think it's over 50. Yeah, definitely over 50.

[00:15:03] Anyway, if that's the case, you just said something. We don't cheat by ourselves. So that means... Unless they saw all of them. Right. But yet, however, then there's a large percentage of women. Most of the women were willing to be with you. Didn't matter whether or not they were in a relationship or not. You think? Yeah.

[00:15:33] So, and a lot better than the men. So, it goes both ways. You know, men and women. We're both humans. We both do the same thing. We do? Yeah. All right. So, we're going to make this call. Yeah, let's call. So, this is our... We've been talking about generational family curses. And we're going to continue this throughout the podcast.

[00:16:02] Calling, getting some calls and getting some people's experience and stories. Story. So, this is Nanette Wolf. I think she's from Panama City, Florida. Florida, right. Yeah, Panama City, Florida. All right. Let's see where we got. Let's call.

[00:16:38] How are you? Hold on. We're going to get you on here. Hold on one second. I had to disconnect something. Hold on one second. And we're going to get you on here. Hello. Hi. Hi, Miss Natalie. I'm Nanette. Nanette Wolf, right? That's it. Yes, sir. How are you? We got to give you a hand to it. Welcome to Arm Out the Field, a podcast with a purpose. That's awesome. Thank you guys so much for having me. Awesome. Awesome. So, we'll get right into it.

[00:17:07] So, tell us about your generational curse in your family that has affected you. Yeah. So, I got a whole plethora of things going on. But luckily, God is good. Um, there's a lot of abuse cycles in my family history. There's addiction, um, sexual fornication, curses, and then false religion. I know that sounds like a weird one. No, it's not. That's not. No, it's not. There we go.

[00:17:37] I completely understand. Right, right, right. Well, thinking about that when I was praying about this podcast, because when I was looking at the generational curses of abuse, it occurred to me that the abusers that have passed that down in my family have all been ministers. And I thought, wow, that is a heavy curse of just, like, hypocrisy and false religion, right? Absolutely. Right, right, right. Right. Can I ask your question, Nanette? Of course.

[00:18:07] Uh, do you have, are you Catholic or, or do you have any experience with somebody that's a Catholic? I do, yeah. And I actually, um, attended a Catholic church for a long time. They weren't, the ministers that I'm speaking about in my family weren't Catholic. They were Protestant. Okay. Um, but yes, I'm, I'm familiar with. And the reason I bring that up is because, uh, I think, you know, like I know spiritually, uh, what the Catholic church represents.

[00:18:37] Uh, yeah. So that's foundationally that goes, that comes, that's where, you know, how you saying all of those molesters, the people that they were ministers. Mm-hmm. See, so, foundationally, we know what happens with the Catholic church and all of the charges and the cases that they get yearly on these, you know, these accusations.

[00:19:02] So, foundationally, they birthed this, in a sense, into the universal church. Yeah. Through Catholicism. Yeah. Right. But they kind of fall into, you know, not everyone is called to that. Right. And Paul made that clear in the New Testament. Right. You know, like if you burn with desire, it's going to lead you into sin if you can't fully commit to this. Right. So, I think he gave us a pretty strong warning. Not everybody's meant for that kind of lifestyle.

[00:19:33] Right. So. God was right. Right. He usually is. Yeah, he usually is. That guy. Okay. Uh, one more, another question. And, uh, what has helped you break or begin to break the cycles that you saw growing up? Absolutely. So. One of the things that I started to notice is that most of these things are hidden.

[00:20:00] And I love that y'all brought that up in your last podcast when you were talking about general curses that no one talks about it. And so things live in the dark and they get bigger in the dark. Right. And so it reminded me of 1 John. And John says, hey, if he's in the light, you have to come into the light. Bring everything into the light. So when Ephesians says, you know, we don't participate in the darkness. We expose the darkness. So we have to speak out about those things.

[00:20:28] And so when we do that, you know, we need to be honest. And James tells us when we're honest and we confess to one another and we pray for one another, that's where our healing comes from. How many diseases or elements do we have? Because we're not talking about these things. We're not confessing and we're not going, you know, hey, my family, you know, struggles. You're preaching. Let me tell you something. Listen, listen, listen.

[00:20:58] You're dealing with, I'm not Pentecostal. Don't get me wrong. Okay. But I am a black man. And you know how we do church. That's right. It don't take a lot. But now you, you're saying some heavy stuff right here now and it's tickling my fancy. I'm just telling you now. So, so please continue because I love what I'm hearing. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but please, please continue.

[00:21:26] No, no, you're good. I think that confession is important, right? And Satan tries to hide us in shame and think that even that story I'll tell, right? Is the guy confessed to his brother and his brother was having. We don't understand that we all struggle, right? That life is hard. And if we were meant for community and we just confess those things, we can get past them. But also when we get there, I was doing a study in Romans last year and I, this hit me like a ton of bricks.

[00:21:56] There's a line in Romans where Paul says, we are no longer obligated. To the flesh. Live. Live. Oh, yes. And I went, oh, I don't have to stay here. I don't have to stay in these cycles. You mean I don't have to, you mean I can live with freedom? I don't owe it anything. And to me, I'm like, I feel a duty or something like, oh, well, you know, even what y'all were talking about, about word curses, right? Your mindset is so important. You have the mind of Christ now.

[00:22:23] You have this freedom that he paid so heavily for. You don't have to be what was in your environment. You can break free, right? 2 Corinthians says we don't wage war in the way that the world does. We break down strongholds in every wisdom and haughty thing that brings itself. Come on, Sister Will! Come on, Sister Will! That brings itself against Christ, right? And those things are in your mind. You gotta find it in your mind, man. That's what I'm talking about. Where you been all my life?

[00:22:53] I'm right here waiting on you. Man, where have you been all of my life? Ladies and gentlemen, this is MadNet Warped Topper, the one and only. Awesome. Please ask her that last question. I gotta hit his. What scripture or spiritual practice has been the most meaningful in helping you move forward? Come on, MadNet.

[00:23:23] So honestly, for me, it is that. So my abuse happened at a really young age. How old were you? If you don't mind me asking. The oldest I can remember, or the furthest back I can remember is three years old. Wow. Wow. Okay. And so there's been a long... I'm 37 now. Ooh.

[00:23:44] And so there has been a series, right, where I've been stuck, right, in trying to figure out who I am and why, kind of like God let these things happen. And I think the most influential thing for me is reminding myself, like Psalms 139, he created every piece of me inside and out. He chose me before the foundation of the world. Suffering produces character that I don't need to run away from the Father when bad things happen.

[00:24:14] I have to run too. And that he is the healer and I don't have to stay broken. Right. Ooh. So, Nanette, are you familiar with these programs that they initiated in church, the healing and deliverance? Yes. Okay. So I have both been through it for healing and deliverance, and I also went through a training so that I could conduct it.

[00:24:45] And in doing that, I've seen manifestations of generational curses, you know, being broken off people like smoke coming out of their mouth. You know, I've seen manifestations of demonic spirits leaving people. I have. Absolutely. And I've witnessed them talk to me. The demonic spirits talk to me. Literally. You know, I'm not lying. One of them told me that I had a lot of bills and I was going to stay broken. A demon said it.

[00:25:14] I know it was a demon because the man didn't know that. Right. Right. So, and I told Coach this before we called you, and we joked about it, but I think you can attest to this. Because anytime, no matter what platform you're on, anytime you are initiating progress and principles to apply to somebody's life, the enemy of our souls does not like that. And so he'll attack us to try to stop that. Right.

[00:25:44] So we're bringing awareness, for instance, on our platform, this one about generational curses and how to break them. Um, he doesn't like that. Yeah. And so my next question is, if you're familiar with the, um, the program, then you're familiar with renouncing and breaking agreement, right? Like I renounce and break agreement. So yeah, I was doing that on my other podcast. Like people need to understand that they need to do that. Now, do you ever practice that? I renounce and break agreement with that?

[00:26:14] Yes. And actually, um, that was something that came up that my husband and I didn't realize. I mean, it was something that we had talked about, but very recently we renounced in our own lives. So on both sides of our family, there's children out of wedlock. So his parents and my parents. And in my family, I'm the only one that had a child out of wedlock. Okay. But with him. Okay. And although we knew that was wrong, right?

[00:26:43] We never had the conversation with the Lord, like, oh my, you know, like we need to renounce and ask for forgiveness for, right? Like that kind of, that whole healing process came later. But, um, when we were praying over our children, we were like, Hey, we're, we're sitting on something that we actively participated in. And we need to shut off before our children become of age. Because God loves, God hates to sin, but he loves to seed. Right. So he, he doesn't hate to see.

[00:27:13] He just, he just didn't like the way we did it. You know, he doesn't like the way we went by to bring about the seed. That's what it is. Cause I was, again, we can, we can go on. Listen, you, we got to call you back. Uh, because, uh, he know you, he should have told me you was, uh, that God was sending an angel to talk to us straight from heaven. Now, is that anything that you would like to say to the people, the Americans listened?

[00:27:42] Just that it is scary to be honest. And it is scary to confess. Um, but the enemy wants to keep you in darkness and that's not what Jesus died for. Jesus wants you free and it, it is worth whatever it'll cost you. Right. In the end of Rome for the healing, right? The healing is wholeness. Right. And you can, and you can be whole. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ladies and gentlemen. Lord have mercy. Jesus to God be the glory.

[00:28:12] I love you. I love you. Y'all are wonderful. Awesome. We thank you. Nanette, thank you. And listen, ladies and gentlemen, this has been Nanette Wilson. Thank you for being on and off the field. I'll reach out to you. Of course he is. I got your number now, Nanette. Uh-oh. Yes, I do. Here we go. Yeah. So tell them Pastor Rick gonna call you. Absolutely. I'll be waiting. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Yes, y'all be blessed. Okay, you too. Bye-bye.

[00:28:42] What? Hey, she was good, huh? Huh? You could have told me. You could have told me. You could have told me. All right, Darvus can't reveal all my secrets. You could have told me. I ain't gonna reveal all my secrets. Because you should have told me you were gonna bring on another Yoda. Man, she was fired. Fire, right. Listen, let me say this before we move. Mm-hmm. The reason I'm so elated is because I don't just, I listen to what people say. Right. When she was speaking and she started saying Jesus.

[00:29:13] Mm-hmm. See, a lot of people talk, and I'll notice them. They'll say the man upstairs, you know, a higher power. Higher power. Who the hell are you talking about? Right. His name is Jesus. Now, if you scatter that name, it's because of the demonic spirit and you won't let you see it. Right. Because that name messing with, it messes with demons. Right. Jesus, so when people come and I meet somebody that ain't ashamed to say Jesus, and then say he died for this. What? Yeah, she was smooth with it. Man, she was. She was smooth with it. Powerful. Yeah, very powerful.

[00:29:43] Smooth with it. You never see an undercurrent. Right. But it's strong. Mm-hmm. That's what she was. Right. Exactly. She'd put, ooh. Why? Let me go to. Magnus. Magnus. Magnus. I might have replaced you with a spiritual woman. Come on, Monica. Magnus. You're still up there, number one. I'm glad. Somebody had something bad to say about Monica the other day. What'd they say? Well, you know, with this whole firing thing with the ESPN. Oh, she's still on there. Yeah, she is. Yeah. But they had.

[00:30:12] But she's on a, kind of like a spot role anyway. She's not like a big heavy hitter. Because they were saying the same thing about Swagoo. Like, you know, like, why is he still there? Swagoo got the NBA. He got that little. Right. That's it. But they had something bad to say about our hunger, though. They threw some salt out. Oh. Saying that she needed to be. Monica Magnus. This poem is for you, baby. This is for you. We love you, girl. Yeah, because they put their mouth on you. We love you, girl. Standing in the dark, shielded by discomfort.

[00:30:40] The air, the thickness of the air, makes it so hard to breathe. I feel you. I know you're here. Your velvety voice soothes my spirit. As the shadows surrender to the glow of hope. Reminding us when our light refuses to leave. Oh, Monica Magnus. Blue bag music. Feeling good by Nina Simone.

[00:31:05] Captures the triumphant shift from what was to what will be. The opening line, birds fly high. You know how I feel. Builds into a massive declaration of personal freedom. It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life for me. And I'm feeling good.

[00:31:32] La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Animal planet. Right. Okay, so the number one cause of animal divorce is a failed breeding season. Come on, bro. If a pair's eggs don't hatch or if they hatch don't survive, the animals often blame each other and split up to try their luck with someone else. Come on, bro.

[00:32:02] Well, animals don't think like that. It's like, hey, you ain't working, bro. I'm out. Who found out which animals was married first? How'd it go? Where'd it say, where your old lady at? You ain't not gonna live to tell about it. Come on, bro. Nah, that made me, when you brought that up, that immediately made me think about Noah's Ark. Cause you know it was two of every animal. Right. Male and female. No, female. They were mad. Random three of your thoughts.

[00:32:29] Every duck you see is probably in the middle of the... What? They'd be walking, you know. What? Like, yeah, she'd see us walk. Look, look, they'll stop them. So.

[00:33:03] They walking like they got something to do, man. Oh my goodness. That is a random thought, dude. There's no reason for you to think that. Why? Come on, bro. All right, coming out the tunnel. So, the World Cup. First, congratulations to Spain for winning the World Cup. But I heard what you got a new result. But anyway, go ahead. But how they came out, the soccer games, with the kids. Okay.

[00:33:31] It's different than the other coming out the tunnels. They come out with the little kid walking from the tunnel to the stand, to the field, sing the anthem. The kid's standing right there. Then they do a little, you know, sign and they go off. Hmm. That's a different type of coming out the tunnel. That is different. Yeah. Way different. Way different. Think this European? You think? I have a feeling it is. Watch it, buddy.

[00:34:00] All right, the sex doctor segment. Oh, my goodness. How long should you wait for a sexual relationship with a new partner after divorce? That is strictly opinionated. Yes, an individual choice. Some people. Again, if you're doing it by God's standards, you wait until you find your next wife. Yeah. If you do. If you're doing it right. By God's standards, right?

[00:34:29] Now, if you're not doing it right, I gave you that story about the tornado. Yeah. Kind of like a theory. You got to clean up afterwards. After the divorce, your house has been a hit. It's a mess. A tornado went through it. Right. You need to pick stuff up. Yeah. And my house is clean up. You can't entertain people while you're cleaning up after a tornado. What did you say when you walked in here? It looks nice in here. Huh? What did you say again? It looks nice. Uh-huh. Clean? It feels different though. Right. Yeah.

[00:34:59] You got your little scent thing down there. Red flag. All right, red flag. Okay, jumping immediately into multiple new relationships to avoid being alone. Facts. You know what? I believe, and I know I'm a man, been one all my life.

[00:35:24] We have men in general, whether you want to confess it or not, we have abandonment issues. Mm-hmm. And I'm going to tell you, let me tell you why I think this is true of every man. Okay. Right? Remember when the Bible, when God first made Adam, he formed Adam, right? Mm-hmm. Dust to the ground blew the breath of life in his nostrils. Adam. True. He looked at him.

[00:35:50] And the first thing he said about him, he said, he don't like being, he's not going to be good by himself. Mm-hmm. It's not good for the man to be alone. God said that. God said it. That's why, as men. It's not good for us to be alone. Innately. Innately. And inherently, we, not only is it not good, but we don't want to be alone. We want that. Companionship. That every man. Yeah.

[00:36:17] And the reason, if they're a real man, they can't lie their way out of him. God said it. And what you should say, God was right. God was right. He's always right. Yeah. So for God to say, it's not good for him to be by himself. Mm-hmm. For God to say that. Yeah. Imagine how we feel when we're by ourselves. We felt like God looked at us when we was by ourselves. He knew it. It ain't good, man. Right. I don't need to be by myself. Mm-hmm. And we weren't built to be by ourselves.

[00:36:45] Especially if you've gone through, you know, after the divorce, you know, you're feeling somewhat, you know, challenging, questioning yourself in the first place. Yeah. Yeah. Really, you are. Yeah. But at some point, but again, at some point, you learn, you have to, you have to learn to build that strength through being by yourself. Of course. Absolutely.

[00:37:12] Appreciating being alone to find, you know, because it, what you, I think you told me something, you were supposed to be there, like, you know, alone. Right. To get your thoughts. Right. I couldn't get an answer from nobody. Right. And God designed it like that. Right. When, when, if you're, if you're sensitive to God and, you know, you, you move like he,

[00:37:37] like he wants you to, when it's time for you to be by yourself, he'll separate you. Mm-hmm. You won't have a choice. Right. And, and, and I, I give into that because I want to be, and it's scary. It's scary to say, okay, God, I'm going to give in. Okay. If you want me to be with somebody until you want me to be with somebody, here you go. Yeah. Where then, what if you say, okay, well, three, four years, I need you to be. Oh, Lord have mercy. Yeah. Yeah. But he's not, he didn't say that, but you feel me? Right. I got it.

[00:38:03] And like you said, you just said something that, that time alone helps you to self reflect, reflect. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's, and that's been good for me. Great for me. It's been awesome. Great for me. All right. What if? What if segment, what if starting over isn't about piecing back together who you were, but finally having a space to discover who you want to become? That's fire. That's a good what if. Yeah. And I think it's, it's, it's, it's really, it's true.

[00:38:33] It's true. Well, you think about the, sometimes you, especially initially you think about what you've lost or what you, you know, what, how can you get back to, to what you were in a relationship? And then you start over time, you start to realize I need, I'm okay. I need to be, get back to me. Because you lose yourself. Right. And because in the marriage, you lose yourself a little bit. You lose part of yourself. Yeah. But you have to, it's the sacrifice. Right.

[00:39:03] You know, I told you afterwards, I didn't know who I was at four. You shouldn't get to the point where you lose who you are. Right. Yeah. But you have to sacrifice. You have to sacrifice in marriage. You, if you didn't sacrifice in this one, you're going to sacrifice in another one. Right. It all going nowhere. Lost in translation. Let's go. Okay. Ken Shutsuki is, no, actually, Kent Shugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold.

[00:39:31] The philosophy is the break is not something to hide. It becomes part of the object's beauty. I like that. Yeah. I like that. African proverb. African proverb. No matter how long the night, the day is sure to come. No matter how painful the divorce, healing, and a new chapter will eventually arrive. Absolutely, brother. I'm trying to tell you. Yes. Pretty nice. I'm not even going to try and pronounce that, but there were- Chinese proverb.

[00:39:59] Me, din, king, no, it's a boo-bye, me, t-a-s-h-h-t-a-s-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. As long as the green hills remain, there will never be a shortage of firewood. It means as long as you are alive and resilient, you can rebuild what you've lost. Facts. Yeah. Perception versus perspective. Perception sees the divorce. Perspective sees the survival. Facts. I like that. Yeah. Two thumbs up. Mm-hmm. Raising Canaan. Bruh. Episode six came out today.

[00:40:29] It did? Mm-hmm. It's on there now. No, I thought it was on a break. Two-week break. No, it came out today. Oh. It's on there. Two weeks. We're about that fast? Dude, I'm telling you. It's on there. Oh. It's on the stick. Okay. Gotcha. Yeah. But okay. It's on there. I caught you now. But you see what I'm saying? Yeah. It's on there. Okay. I saw it before I left. Say less. Don't tell me. That's what I will do when I get back. Raising Canaan. Don't tell me nothing. Yeah. Okay. All right. Edible Eatable Eats. Okay.

[00:40:57] Check out our new lemon chicken grill chicken thighs recipe on our website. We got that? So we're going to start putting out some like menu clips of dinner recipes. Y'all ain't know nothing about this. Try and generate some stuff to the website. I can cook this. That's the picture right there. Yes. It's simple recipes. I can do the lemon grill chicken thighs. Simple recipes. Yeah. Saute them red and green bell peppers. Mm-hmm. Onions. Got the sweet potatoes. Broccoli.

[00:41:26] Broccoli mix. Oh, yeah. Ooh. I might need to hook this up. Yeah. I need to go do some chicken breast. Ain't that chicken breast? Yeah. That's chicken thighs. Chicken thighs. Chicken thighs. You know, I'm not a thigh person. Thigh's the juiciest part, man, of that chicken, dude. You want that juiciest part of the meat? Now, I like breasts. I like breasts. Yeah. But that thigh, boy. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Serenity now. Serenity now.

[00:41:56] While the mental health impact varies, many people ultimately experience higher life satisfaction, improved emotional health, and healthier relationships, especially after leaving high conflict marriages. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Bible mysteries. Malachi chapter 2, verse 16 features the phrase, I hate divorce. Okay. Expound on this warning from God. Does violence. Wait a minute.

[00:42:24] God does violence to the one he should protect, says the Lord. So be on your guard and do not be unfaithful. Wow. Yeah. That, yeah. Sheesh. All right. It was interesting when I read that it was in different verses. Like one was King James Version. One was in, you know. English Standard. So in different four, they had different ways of saying it, but in all of it was like God was saying,

[00:42:53] look, this is your marriage, dude. Protect it. Yeah. With your life. Yeah. Guard it. And don't do wrong. Right. That's what he was saying. So two things real quick. Hosea was a prophet in the Old Testament. Right. Mm-hmm. God always used prophets as a symbolism of Israel as a nation. I hope you can understand that.

[00:43:21] So Hosea wakes up one morning. God tapped him on the shoulder. Hosea, wake up. Yeah, Lord. He said, go marry a hooker. He said, go. He said, I want you to go take to yourself as a wife a hooker. Matter of fact, go get Goma. Her name was Goma. He said, go get her. Go marry her. What? What? Yeah. I'm about to use you to show Israel how unfaithful she is toward me. Go marry the hooker. So he goes and marries Goma.

[00:43:51] Man. Goma hot in the pants, bro. She go off. Screw on them after they get married. Mm-hmm. God say, go get her. He go get her. She run off again, bro. This time to the point where she got put under servitude. Mm-hmm. Had a pimp. Mm-hmm. You ought to read the Bible. It's awesome. Had a pimp. Mm-hmm. Full servitude. Mm-hmm.

[00:44:18] God say, go back and get her. Run behind her. Mm-hmm. And bring her home. He went and got her from the pimp. Brought her home. Cleaned up. Mm-hmm. Let me tell you something, bro. Listen to you. Let me tell you something, bro.

[00:44:48] Now, while that was different, the call, because he was using Hosea for a bigger purpose. What was the purpose? To show Israel. This is how I love y'all. Y'all keep cheating on me with you fellow with money. Okay. Okay. And I keep coming behind you. Okay. I got you. I keep. So Israel was the hooker. There you go. And God was Hosea. I got you. Oh, okay. Nice. And using the show. Y'all keep, this is how I'm doing y'all. Right.

[00:45:17] And now finally, if I'm right, correct me if I'm wrong, you do the history. Check yourself. They were finally reunited. They, yeah. Okay. What kind of man was that, that he had to be to swallow that much pride to, not once, but he kept going back and getting her. But she didn't want it. To the point where she got hired as a hooker by a pimp. You got to breathe. Yeah.

[00:45:47] Not many men. And God say, go back and get them. Not many men will do that. But if, if God is actually saying that to you, like, you know, like you hear it and you got to do what you got. So imagine what you look like to everybody else. Right. If they see Gomer doing this to you. Right. But they don't hear God telling you this. You do. And you keep going out there. What you think they don't say to Hosea? Man, what is wrong with you? But they don't hear God. He does.

[00:46:15] Well, that's, that's the, in general, you are to go, you, you go against the grain. And there's a reason why people go against the grain because they have, they have a purpose. They know something that you don't. When you see that duck walking that way. Right. And you, why are you walking that way? No, I built the ark. Yeah. It never rained. Right. Looked crazy, didn't it? Looked crazy. Until you needed that ark. In marriage. In marriage, God is going to ask you to do stuff that's going to make you uncomfortable. Right.

[00:46:45] And it's going to make you look kind of funny. If you want the marriage to do it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mary's Nerd Nugget Fun Facts. It's her birthday tomorrow. Oh, wow. She would have been 26. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. It's been a tough week. It's been a tough week. I can feel your spirit, man. Yeah. It's been a tough week.

[00:47:10] I can feel when you first, like if you're frustrated or you're like on edge. Yeah. I can feel it. Yeah. I don't say nothing. Oh, okay. Yeah. I can hear it. It's a tough week. I can hear it in your voice. Yeah. Yeah. You've been. It's a tough week. Understood, coach. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to you for being a real G. For real. Going through it. You know what I'm saying? You don't look like what you're going through. I just discerned it. I could feel it. It's kind of tight.

[00:47:38] I told people this a long time ago. When you lose a child, it's almost like you have a certain handicap, but it's invisible. People can't see it. And they can't understand it. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Appreciate you, homie. Yep. Earth is the only known planet not named after a Greek or Roman God. Now, that's interesting. Yeah. Huh.

[00:48:08] And you know why? Why? Because they were, the people who named it, the Greeks and the Romans, they were on Earth. Okay. And they didn't name where they were after a God. Oh, they didn't name that. They named it after nature. After where they were. Okay. Earth was the name of the nature. I got you. That makes sense. Yeah. So, did you know? No, I didn't. Your left lung is smaller than your right. Nope. To make room for your heart. That's fire, though. Yeah. That's God.

[00:48:38] Perfection. That's God. You can't. So, the Big Bang Theory did that. Scientology did that. The Big Bang Theory just blew up and the lung made smaller to make room for the heart. Scientology did that. And now all of that, right? Oh, my God. Things that make you go, hmm. That made me go, hmm. If you could drive to the moon at 60 miles an hour, it would take about six months. That is crazy. That is crazy. Drive that long. That's crazy.

[00:49:08] I wouldn't drive that long. Yeah. You probably, yeah. You wouldn't drive. Somebody else would be driving. Right. You in six months. Jeez. You and about 40 other people. Six months. I got to go to the bathroom. You got a Buc-ee's around here. Six months? Six months. 40 people going to drive. You won't drive twice. Gosh. Help for hints. All right. This is a good one. Pay attention. Pay attention, people.

[00:49:37] If you got to do six months to drive and get 39 more people. That's the help for hint. All right. A child. So, let me set the scene. This is a parent that's telling this story about what happened to them. And so, I could kind of just made it so you could read it. Okay. A child texts her parent from a night party. Do we still use the charger at home? We don't. And that's the code.

[00:50:07] Charger means pick me up ASAP. Headphone means call me in five minutes. Tonight, she said charger. Don't ask why. Just grab your keys and go. Provide a way out that doesn't require explanations. So, it's a code that the parent had with the child to get out of a tricky situation. Wow. Which happens. I'm going to be honest. Which happens a lot. Particularly with women.

[00:50:37] You go to parties where there's alcohol involved. Yeah. There's a lot of situations where you could be in a heap of trouble before you even know it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. They got a movie on Netflix or something that's kind of like that. Okay. I'll check that out. All right. Church announcements. Reverend Ledbetter would like to remind all divorced members. That dude is shady, bro. An additional $25 will be added to your monthly tie for being divorced.

[00:51:09] Luke. No, bro. Obi-Wan told you about your father. He said you killed my father. No, Luke. I am your father. Wait a minute. How you going to charge somebody $25 because they divorced? Making the church look bad. That's Reverend Ledbetter. You're making the church look bad. Oh, man. You got to divorce a stain on a sort of sauce of ramming the bush missionary about the church. Come on, bro.

[00:51:39] With the Yoda. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father. All right. This is for a new beginning. All right. In Isaiah 43, 18, 19. Behold, I do a new thing. Forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up. Do you not perceive it? Just a reminder that God can bring about new hope and painful. Absolutely. And that's what he was doing with Israel.

[00:52:07] Reassuring them because by this time, they had been in bondage twice. This northern and southern kingdom. Okay. Ten tribes to the north, two to the south. So the ten to the north had already been in bondage 70 years. The two to the south, right behind them. Right. So by the time you get to Isaiah, they lost nations, generations of people and died off. They didn't see all kind of stuff.

[00:52:35] So now he's reassuring them because they're kind of down in their spirit. They're like, man, you know what? We're going to perish like the rest of them. We ain't going to make it. He said, nah, behold. Yeah. First he said something like, I need to sleep no slumber somewhere around in there. Then he said, behold, don't remember the past. I ain't going to hold y'all past against you. I'm about to do a new thing. So he was encouraging them as a nation. Okay. Yeah. So they had been through that a lot. Yoda. Yoda.

[00:53:05] Yoda. I'm still tripping off Ledbetter charging these people $25, man, for getting divorced, bro. Ledbetter ain't playing. He shady, bro. All right. Quotes of the week. Let's go. Put it on my still account. Healing after divorce isn't about forgetting the past. It's about no longer living in it. Facts. That's facts. Ain't nothing that's self-explanatory. Get out of here, Dewey. You survived the ending. Now give yourself permission to write a better beginning. Come on.

[00:53:35] Talk to me. You saw Armandy. I'm not for legal reason you smack in your nose, bro. The wood is the place. The wound. He said the wound. You saw Armandy. He said the wound.

[00:54:04] The wound is the place where the light enters you. You know, I thought you said womb that time. Wound? Womb. W-O-M-B. No, wound. No, wound. It's the place where the light enters. Wound. The wound. The wound. The wound. The wound. Got a light in the wound. The wound. Stop eating my sesame. Divorce doesn't define your future. Your next decision does. That's facts.

[00:54:34] You tell the man blue horse you love. Anacostia. The end of a marriage is not the end of your ability to love, laugh, or dream. Another fireman. Watch it in the floor. You loser. You loser. You are not broken. You are under construction. Faith under construction. I'm still being built. This is from Bubba from Forrest Gump. These Vietnams is good scrimp. It's great to lose and fail in love.

[00:55:03] It means you've lived. You can love again. Read it again. It's great to lose and fail in love. It means you've lived. You can love again. That first sentence is going to take some convincing for some people because they don't feel great. Well, again, because it's how you're looking at it. You're looking at it as I've lost. I'm a loser. Right. Some people look at it. But you're not a loser. You haven't lost. No.

[00:55:34] No. Yeah. They lost you. They lost you. Right. Never have I ever segment. Guns and butter, baby. That's from Baby Boy. Your boy Ving Rain. Uh-huh. Guns and butter, baby. Guns and butter, baby. Guns and butter, baby. And why you don't love me no more, Jody. From Baby Boy. Why you don't love me no more, Jody. Why you don't know me no more, Jody. Never have I ever reorganized or redecorated an entire room just to completely change the vibe of the house. Guns and butter, baby.

[00:56:04] I just did it. I know you just did it. Never have I ever downloaded a dating app. Why you don't love me no more, Jody?

[00:56:37] Jody? Never. Started eating foods my spouse hates. Guns and butter, baby. I don't think I have. I have. Okay. I have to tell you I have. All right. Last couple of business ventures. So the online store, we're still working on it. It just takes some time to a lot of detailed work to get everything set up. But we're still got the shirts coming in line.

[00:57:07] And so soon we'll have merchandise on our store. Yeah. We've got a cash app, cash app account now. So people can start donating to the to the to the podcast. So we're making progress. That's good. Yeah. Shout out to us. Shout out to you. You doing a lot of work. So thank you to our incredible listeners. Thank you for being a part of the on and off the field family.

[00:57:32] Don't forget to like and follow us on whatever favorite podcast platform you listen to us on. Podcast. And of course, our website on and off the field with a da dot com. This is a good one. This was a good one. And that's what? Yeah. Shout out to Nanette, bro. She was preaching.

[00:58:00] She was looking at your neighbor on your right side. Tell them amen. This has been our on and off the field, a podcast with a purpose. I'm the field coach. That's for sure. This is your boy, Coach Balson, a.k.a. Stiller Nation since 1976. And you got the infamous one. The other man since 1968. This made episode number 85, season two. Divorced and starting over. Interesting.

[00:58:25] Men, women, put your faith in God and trust your instincts. Listen to that coach. Take your time and things will work out. I can make it. I can make it. I can make it. I can make it.

[00:59:13] Peace. Hey, guys. It's Ryan. I want to tell you about my new pastime, Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has been around for over a decade delivering the most fun you can have online. Play social casino style games for free anytime, anywhere. So sign up at chumbacasino.com. No purchase necessary. VGW room. Voidware prohibited by law. See terms and conditions. 21 plus. You're listening to a podcast right now. Driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With rss.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy.

[00:59:42] Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at rss.com.